Wednesday, February 26, 2014
Oh, The Irony!
The Supreme Irony Is That The Worst Night For Business At The Ruby Tuesday Restaurants Is Almost Always Tuesday.
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*What? Was Ruby Saturday already taken?
Harold Ramis (1944 -- 2014):
He Isn't Too Likely To Get A Very Warm Welcome From The Ghost Community.
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*And they won't have the slightest idea whom to call to bust him.
Friday, February 21, 2014
Grabbing The Word By The Tail
For Those Who Do It Well, Copy Editing Can Be Its Own Reword.
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*It's that personal satisfaction of making the word your oyster.
[Due credit must be given to a third party who told a mutual friend that copy editing is "a rewording experience," and said mutual friend (W. A. B.) then repeated it on his blog. Now, I have "reworded" it again into a form different enough, I hope, to avoid calls from either party's copyright lawyers.]
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
Memorable Moments In Movie Dialogue Revisited (#1)
PETE: "Do NOT Seek The Treasure!
DELMAR: "Pete, We Thought You Wuz A TOAD!"
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*Set in a darkened movie theater somewhere in Mississippi in 1937.
Monday, February 17, 2014
Father, Forgive Thee Not . . .
The Cover-Up Of Child Abuse By Catholic Priests Is A Classic Case Of A Failure To Ex-Communicate.
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*And the church shouldn't be waiting around to hear it from Strother Martin.
Sunday, February 16, 2014
Hoosiers Need To Hurry Up And Grow Up
When You Look Up immaturity In The Dictionary, I'm Pretty Sure There Will Be A Picture Of The Indiana University Basketball Team Next To It.
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*Watching them play Purdue today was like watching an eight-year-old kid try to compete with an NBA player in a slam-dunk contest.
Valentine's Day:
With All The Holidays Honoring The Deaths Of Men And Women, Large And Small, It Is Rather Nice To Have One That Merely Celebrates Those Who Live And Love.
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*Love doesn't really make the Earth go around, but it can make it stand still every so often, which is definitely worth celebrating.
Good Night, Little Miss Marker
There Were Plenty Of Cute, Precocious Kids Before Her, But Shirley Temple (1928) Raised The Standard To New Heights.
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*Even the sternest of movie critics couldn't resist hopping aboard her Good Ship Lollipop.
Thursday, February 13, 2014
Whether To Curl, Or Hurl?
Curling Is An Olympic Sport Native To Scotland. Hurling Is A Non-Olympic Sport Native To Wayne's World.
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*If it were to become an Olympic event, college fraternities from the U. S. would sweep the medals, both team and individual.
[NOTE: It should not be confused with the actual non-Olympic sport of hurling native to Ireland.]
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
Keeping Up With Keeping Up
It Would Be Much Easier To Keep Up With The Joneses If There Just Weren't So Darned Many Of Them.
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*Personally, I'm just trying my best to keep up with the Sipowiczes.
Saturday, February 08, 2014
Breaking Olympic News, Literally
I Am Suitably Impressed With The Triple Lutzes The Olympic Figure Skaters Have Been Performing Thus Far, Though None Has Quite Matched The Triple Klutz I Pulled Off In Our Kitchen In November.
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*The orthopedic surgeon who repaired my hip fracture gave me a perfect 10.0 on that one, because I really stuck the landing.
Thursday, February 06, 2014
The Cat's Final Word
I Asked The Cat To Bring In The Newspaper From The Driveway This Morning. The Cat Replied With A Look That Said, "If You Wanted Somebody To Fetch Stuff For You, You Should've Bought A Dog."
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*And promptly resumed its mid-morning nap.
Wednesday, February 05, 2014
Love, Actually?
Love, It Appears, Couldn't Even Keep The Captain And Tennille Together.
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*It had to be all that muskrat love, which never sounded all that endearing to begin with, unless you were a muskrat.
Monday, February 03, 2014
Groundhog Day 2014
Peyton Manning Emerged From His Hole, Saw The Giant Shadows Of The Seahawks' Defense, And Crawled Back Inside, Predicting Twelve More Months Of Waiting For Another Super Bowl Ring.
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*To Manning, the day must have seemed too much like the old Bill Murray movie, with the Seahawks singing "I Got You, Babe," instead of Sonny and Cher.
