Monday, November 19, 2007
NFL: Geographically Challenged?
If you think schools haven't quit teaching geography, all you have to do is look at the National Football League "system" for grouping its teams into conferences, divisions, etc. They are supposedly based on geography, neatly divided into East, North, South, and West subdivisions.
But look a little closer, and you'll find that the NFL masterminds are about as sharp on geography as the students who, when asked to mark the location of Central America on a world map put it somewhere near Kansas (I can tell you from first-hand knowledge that they do just that, some of them anyway).
For example, Miami is in the East Division of the American Football Conference. Huh? And Dallas is in the East Division of the National Football Conference. Indianapolis in the AFC South. Need I go on?
Clearly, the NFL needs to clean up it geographical act. I, naturally, am ready with a simple solution. It would take only a few quick shifts to make things right, geographically, with the lineups of the league's teams, and maybe, in the interest of saving unnecessarily long trips and tons of jet fuel, get a stamp of approval from Al Gore even.
Here's what the NFL needs to do. To make the geography of the AFC more sensible, Miami -- now teamed up with Buffalo, New England, and the N.Y. Jets for no logical reason -- needs to be moved to the AFC South. I mean, it is south of everywhere except Key West, after all.
To make room for the Dolphins in the South, move Indianapolis, which isn't south of anything except the Great Lakes, into the North division. Then, shift Baltimore, which is more east than it is north, into the East Division.
Voila, a geographically correct lineup (the West doesn't need any such fine tuning).
Meanwhile, back at the NFC ranch, the solution would be even simpler. Just flop Dallas (East Division currently, even though it's west of the Mississippi) and Carolina (South now, but it is pretty far east, too). Leave the NFC North alone -- the Black and Blue Division just has too much geography, history, and tradition to be tampered with -- and also the NFC West, although moving the Rams from L.A. to St. Louis put it somewhat out of kilter.
Those are only quick fixes and don't deal with anything but geography. The NFL should eventually deal with its ignorance of potentially intense rivalry matchups that its current boundaries between conferences and divisions don't allow (except in the case of Cleveland and Cincinnati).
For instance, wouldn't a home-and-home series every year between Pittsburgh and Philadelphia be a great draw? Of course, it would, but it can't happen as long as one is in the AFC (North) and the other in the NFC (East).
The same holds true for St. Louis and Kansas City, and let's not forget Dallas and Houston. The idea would also need to apply those states with three teams. Somehow, the NFL has to get the Chargers, Raiders, and 49ers into the same division, and Jacksonville, Tampa Bay, and Miami, too, as well as the Jets, Bills, and Giants.
Those will take some major rehauling of the conferences and divisions, though. I'm still working on how to solve those conundrums and take advantage of the natural intrastate rivalries that aren't currently being exploited into big ticket sales.
There surely is a way. Sadly, the NFL probably won't find it any better than the Dolphins can find the end zone this season. That's the kind of geography neither of them ever was taught in school.
But look a little closer, and you'll find that the NFL masterminds are about as sharp on geography as the students who, when asked to mark the location of Central America on a world map put it somewhere near Kansas (I can tell you from first-hand knowledge that they do just that, some of them anyway).
For example, Miami is in the East Division of the American Football Conference. Huh? And Dallas is in the East Division of the National Football Conference. Indianapolis in the AFC South. Need I go on?
Clearly, the NFL needs to clean up it geographical act. I, naturally, am ready with a simple solution. It would take only a few quick shifts to make things right, geographically, with the lineups of the league's teams, and maybe, in the interest of saving unnecessarily long trips and tons of jet fuel, get a stamp of approval from Al Gore even.
Here's what the NFL needs to do. To make the geography of the AFC more sensible, Miami -- now teamed up with Buffalo, New England, and the N.Y. Jets for no logical reason -- needs to be moved to the AFC South. I mean, it is south of everywhere except Key West, after all.
To make room for the Dolphins in the South, move Indianapolis, which isn't south of anything except the Great Lakes, into the North division. Then, shift Baltimore, which is more east than it is north, into the East Division.
Voila, a geographically correct lineup (the West doesn't need any such fine tuning).
Meanwhile, back at the NFC ranch, the solution would be even simpler. Just flop Dallas (East Division currently, even though it's west of the Mississippi) and Carolina (South now, but it is pretty far east, too). Leave the NFC North alone -- the Black and Blue Division just has too much geography, history, and tradition to be tampered with -- and also the NFC West, although moving the Rams from L.A. to St. Louis put it somewhat out of kilter.
Those are only quick fixes and don't deal with anything but geography. The NFL should eventually deal with its ignorance of potentially intense rivalry matchups that its current boundaries between conferences and divisions don't allow (except in the case of Cleveland and Cincinnati).
For instance, wouldn't a home-and-home series every year between Pittsburgh and Philadelphia be a great draw? Of course, it would, but it can't happen as long as one is in the AFC (North) and the other in the NFC (East).
The same holds true for St. Louis and Kansas City, and let's not forget Dallas and Houston. The idea would also need to apply those states with three teams. Somehow, the NFL has to get the Chargers, Raiders, and 49ers into the same division, and Jacksonville, Tampa Bay, and Miami, too, as well as the Jets, Bills, and Giants.
Those will take some major rehauling of the conferences and divisions, though. I'm still working on how to solve those conundrums and take advantage of the natural intrastate rivalries that aren't currently being exploited into big ticket sales.
There surely is a way. Sadly, the NFL probably won't find it any better than the Dolphins can find the end zone this season. That's the kind of geography neither of them ever was taught in school.
