The Old Prof Thinks Out Loud

They are as much a staple of American life as apple pie, Wonder bread, and Double Stuf Oreos. What-If questions, the standup comics especially love them for their double entendres and ironic potential, and they freely twist them around their little fingers to make the ironies more visible to those of us who only laugh, rather than make people laugh (although I'm going to try that in a moment).
For me, the best ever is comic John Mendoza's deadpanned one: "What if there were no hypothetical situations?"
Or another comedian's (maybe George Carlin's or Steven Wright's, but I'm not sure): "What if the Hokey Pokey is what it's all about?"
I would humbly submit a few more What-Ifs for your consideration:
What If: The thought really isn't what counts?
What If: Beggars can be choosers? (In Zen, they are the only ones who can)
What If: Mother doesn't always know best? (Submitted for your consideration: Anna Nicole Smith)
What If: Father doesn't know best? (Submitted: John Phillips)
What If: Acorns sometimes do fall far from the tree? (Like, into my neighbor's yard)
What If: A journey of a thousand miles sometimes begins with more than one step?
What If: A bird in the hand isn't worth two in the bush? (A lot less sanitary, for sure)
What If: He who hesitates is only confused, not lost?
What If: The truth won't set you free? (until new DNA evidence is revealed)
What If: Necessity isn't the mother of invention? (did we really NEED the Clapper?)
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(work in progress)