Monday, August 28, 2006
Stupidity Test, Part 6
6. Moses and Mohammed were political and social conservatives, while Jesus and Buddha were political and social liberals.
A. True
B. False
C. So what was Zoroastra?
It is probably best to remember an old and accurate Zen saying here: "Everything is true in some sense, false in some sense, and meaningless in another sense." Make sense?
A. True
B. False
C. So what was Zoroastra?
It is probably best to remember an old and accurate Zen saying here: "Everything is true in some sense, false in some sense, and meaningless in another sense." Make sense?
Friday, August 18, 2006
Stupidity Test, Part 5
5. God truly is on America's side.
A. True
B. False
C. I need a moment to pray for my answer
Last time I spoke directly to the Supreme Being (God/Jehovah/Allah/Buddha/Vishnu/Black Hole/Zeus), he/she/it/they said, "Do you see any national boundaries that I created? Of course you don't. And, by the way, I really don't give a damn who wins a sporting event, either. And I didn't put those bleeping snakes on that bleeping plane. Now leave me alone, just as I leave you alone."
A. True
B. False
C. I need a moment to pray for my answer
Last time I spoke directly to the Supreme Being (God/Jehovah/Allah/Buddha/Vishnu/Black Hole/Zeus), he/she/it/they said, "Do you see any national boundaries that I created? Of course you don't. And, by the way, I really don't give a damn who wins a sporting event, either. And I didn't put those bleeping snakes on that bleeping plane. Now leave me alone, just as I leave you alone."
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Stupidity Test, Part 4
4. Author/pundit Ann Coulter should be better known as:
A. The Wicked Witch of the Right
B. Coultergeist*
C. Ann O'Rexic
D. All of the above
As any half-bright college student knows, D is almost always the correct answer.
*FOOTNOTE (and, unlike many of Ms. Coulter's, this one is accurate and truthful): The term "Coultergeist" was coined by Keith Olbermann of MSNBC's "Countdown" program. She's baaaaaaccckkkkkkk!
A. The Wicked Witch of the Right
B. Coultergeist*
C. Ann O'Rexic
D. All of the above
As any half-bright college student knows, D is almost always the correct answer.
*FOOTNOTE (and, unlike many of Ms. Coulter's, this one is accurate and truthful): The term "Coultergeist" was coined by Keith Olbermann of MSNBC's "Countdown" program. She's baaaaaaccckkkkkkk!
Monday, August 07, 2006
Stupidity Test, Part 3
3. The French should be ashamed for forgetting that we bailed out their sorry asses in World War II and not joining us in the Iraq war.
A. True
B. False
C. And we should be even more ashamed of our own memory lapse
C is definitely the right answer, for anyone whose knowledge of history extends beyond the day before yesterday. The French, it should be remembered, sent troops to back up the colonists in the American Revolution. If they hadn't, the United States might well still be South Canada today.
(Interesting sidenote: With all the righteous indignation in renaming things like "freedom fries" and "freedom toast," no one suggested switching to "freedom kissing" and "freedom ticklers." The self-proclaimed patriots didn't want anything French going into their stomachs, but other parts of their bodies were OK?)
A. True
B. False
C. And we should be even more ashamed of our own memory lapse
C is definitely the right answer, for anyone whose knowledge of history extends beyond the day before yesterday. The French, it should be remembered, sent troops to back up the colonists in the American Revolution. If they hadn't, the United States might well still be South Canada today.
(Interesting sidenote: With all the righteous indignation in renaming things like "freedom fries" and "freedom toast," no one suggested switching to "freedom kissing" and "freedom ticklers." The self-proclaimed patriots didn't want anything French going into their stomachs, but other parts of their bodies were OK?)
Thursday, August 03, 2006
Stupidity Test, Part 2
2. Which presidential candidate declared in 2000 that he was opposed to the United States ever becoming involved in "nation building"?
A. George W. Bush
B. John Kerry
C. Saddam Hussein
If you have managed to forget that it was candidate A, then you, too, have truly become Karl Rove's bitch. Find a treatment center immediately.
A. George W. Bush
B. John Kerry
C. Saddam Hussein
If you have managed to forget that it was candidate A, then you, too, have truly become Karl Rove's bitch. Find a treatment center immediately.
